NCAA D.O.A. Get to Know These Bracket Killers

POSTED: 03/15/06

Photo by: Malgorath Zdeb-Benjamin Goode/Istockphoto

By the time you read this, half your officemates will already have been eliminated from your NCAA pool.

Yeah, yeah – the games don’t start ’til tomorrow. But that doesn’t matter – in every office there are those same types of people whose brackets are so flawed from the very start that they might as well have run their $5 through the paper shredder.

You may know one of these people. Hell, you may BE one of these people.

“Yes, That Is a Gun in My Pocket”
The Bible says, “Baggy jeans are the root of all evil.” And this video proves it. Watch some highly average-looking teenage student demonstrate the danger of lax dress codes, as he pulls an alarming number of guns from his pants. Like seeing a long line of clowns emerge from a tiny car, it’s both slightly amusing and kind of scary.

Sharper Image
Artsy razor wire? Part of your brain will tell you to avoid this “vicious but cute” product from Sweet Dreams Security. But another part will tell you to wrap yourself in it, curl up on your couch and watch Love Actually. It’s just one of their many fine items, whose whimsical exterior masks a nasty, umm, exterior. See, it’s confusing. But cool. (Click on “Products.”)

One Catchy Advertising Jiggle
Chocolate? Jerky? We’re not sure what this happy Japanese commercial is for, but we’ll take 10 of them. Or 10 of whatever the buxom, buoyant young spokeshottie tells us to buy. It’s 15 seconds of good-good!

G.I. Jin-Liu
It seems as though a fresh piece of news comes out of China every two minutes reinforcing the fact that the rest of us are roadkill along their developmental highway. But none of it really sinks in quite as poetically as these photos of Chinese military women kicking the shit out of each other and pulverizing ra