LAST THOUGHT OF THE DAY

For Low-Budget Fun, a Spool of Fishing Line Can’t Be Beat
Posted July 6, 2006 5:20 pm

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PHOTO

She Fell in Love With Him the Moment She Saw Him Working at Baby Gap.
By Dan B., Posted July 6, 2006 4:40 pm

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NEWS
The Four at Four: Your Afternoon News
By Mark R., Posted July 6, 2006 4:15 pm

Big TV’s Reveal a Big Problem
As the screen size of your television increases, so does the distance you must sit from the thing. In the case of a 60-inch TV, that is about eight feet from the screen, says the New York Times. Otherwise you will start seeing the pixels in the picture.

Hand-Cranked Car Windows Vanishing
Great. Now we’ll need a new pantomimed signal for “Roll down your window.”

The ‘Pirates of the Caribbean’ Sequel Is Just Great
“All that’s missing,” says the Boston Globe’s Ty Burr, “is a plot, amusing dialogue, comic timing, and a reason to exist.” Ouch!

Brain May Be Hard-Wired to Track Team Sports
…assuming the teams are wearing bright, pretty uniforms, says the July issue of Psychological Science. Grouping lots of objects or people together by color is key – otherwise our brains can’t track more than three moving objects at once.

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TECH
What Will The Next iPod Look Like?
By Dan B., Posted July 6, 2006 3:30 pm

Cut along the dotted lines to completely ruin your monitor.

No, this isn’t a page from the world’s lamest coloring book. These just might be the new design concepts for the next generation of iPods. The pictures are reported to have come from the European trademark and design office and are part of new patents that Apple is filing. Take this with a grain of salt, because the folks at Engadget.com are already calling bullshit, saying, “We don’t doubt the authenticity of this filing, however, what’s hard to stuff down the ol’ pie-hole is the idea of Apple walking away from its much loved, and oft imitated, click-wheel interface for the iPod.”

You know what else is tough to swallow? Bricks and the fact that two of these designs don’t have any type of buttons whatsoever. How do you operate them? With your voice? A remote? A magical pair of shoes? We’ll have to wait and see. (Please be the shoes!)

RELATED:
Headline of the Day that Made Me Want to Punch Something Before I Even Clicked on It: ‘Is This Apple’s Secret iPod Cell Phone?’ (Last item on page)

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USEFUL
We Predict Daily Doses of Hilarity!
Posted July 6, 2006 2:40 pm

With our RSS feed, you’ll never worry again about missing new Office Pirates content – we’ll send you updates automatically. Sign up now, and make no payments till 2007!

And when 2007 arrives, make no payments then, either!

Listen, the point is, the thing is free.
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UPDATE
Pennsylvania Passes on Our Slogan
By Dan B., Posted July 6, 2006 2:00 pm

A while back, we told you that Pennsylvania’s Tourism Office was having a contest for a new bumper sticker slogan. Well, you can stop entering, because they’ve picked a winner: “I Break For Shoofly Pie.” Meanwhile, our awesome slogan (pictured below) didn’t even make the list of submitted ideas.

See, this is exactly the kind of shit we were talking about.